Unfortunately this post is just another all out whinge.. brace yourself.. I'm sure I will have something positive to say soon.
So my husband and I have this close friend, who once upon a time was wonderful.. and then he met a girl. Now don't get me wrong, the fact that he got himself a girlfriend is hardly a problem, nor is she really a problem on her own, I actually quite enjoy her.. mostly. The two of them together however are a slightly volatile combination. You never know if you are going to encounter a shit load of fun when you hang out with them or world war 455000. The number is of this war is so high, because to be honest, they spend a fair majority of their time at each other about every little detail or bagging each other out when not in each others presence. I am sure there is something they love about each other, I just struggle three years on to quite work it out from an outsiders perspective.
The clincher here is that this friend I'm referring to has never really been the same since they got together, more so in the last year. And I'm not saying this in reference to the normal things that happen when you shack up with someone. Personality wise he is just not all there and tells me quiet frequently when we do talk all the things he is miserable about. I guess this is the start of the problem.. I am pretty black and white, and very much of the opinion if you choose to have it, then live with it and don't whine.. which unfortunately he does, but then so does she. I probably should mention at this point that they do say nice things about each other too, i feel guilty as this is sounding slanderous.
A couple of weeks back they had a huge falling out that resulted in our friend forcing his girlfriend to move out by wrapping all her things in a bed sheet and dropping her on her mothers driveway. This proceeded by two weeks of him telling me everything he disliked about her, nothing new to report there, and all the reasons why he would be better off never sorting things out with her. When I questioned his commitment he assured me he was sticking to it this time.. this is one of many break ups I have lost count of. But alas, today they are back together. On it's own I guess this event is a celebratory one, but to be honest.. it has more or less resulted in me loosing all respect for everything our friend says. I don't really care who he does or doesn't date, but surely if your not going to continue your relationship.. be certain about it before you tell everyone, bad mouth your girlfriend, get your friends involved, make it facebook official etc etc. especially when its the 100th time your 'breaking up'.
I am not sure if I being completely over the top and dramatic with my feelings regarding this whole scenario, it feels like reminiscing high school every time I am exposed to them. I am not particularly interested in continuing to maintain this draining relationship going forward. What do you all think?
I have thought of a million different things to say on this situation - but it's just pointless. there is NOTHING you can say or do to anyone that's in a shitty relationship to help them/Change their mind etc. They have to do it for themselves - and they may never do anything and continue on this ridiculous loop for the rest of their lives. I know someone in a similar situation and no matter what she says and how crap things are they are always back together....blah blah blah - it is so edging annoying!!!
ReplyDeleteMy advice to you re handling the situation is there are 2 approaches to take:
1. You can still see them socially - maybe in a bigger group so it's harder for you to get involved - and just ignore their crap. Cut yourself off from it - don't let it drag you down. There are meditation type things you can do to help you if with this sort of thing if that's what your into. If that's seems to hard and your still getting involved...
2. Don't see them anymore. There is no point bringing unnecessary negativity into your life. I know it might sound harsh but if it affects you that much is it really worth it?